Broken.

I miss when we used to go for walks on the playing field, especially when we climbed the fence and went down by the river. I miss the times we would go for random drives, just becuase we had nothing else to do. I miss going up lyth hill and lying in our spot just chatting for hours on end. I miss how we would go for a macdonalds and you would always laugh at my parking. I miss how I called you jimmy. I miss how you would always check up on the football every minute of every day. I wish I hadn't gotten so annoyed at you for doing that now. I miss how we'd always go and sit in your garden and talk to your parents. I miss coming in from a night out and passing out in your kitchen and tip-toeing upstairs without waking anyone up. I miss the smell of your aftershave. I miss driving home at 11pm from a whole day with you. I miss playing on your blackberry. I miss lying in your bed watching Casualty on a Saturday night. I miss being called down for dinner and quickly getting dressed and putting make up on. I miss going for walks to the shops and buying lots of sweets. I miss writing letters to you and doing anything I can to make you smile. I miss playing Fifa with you and trying my hardest to beat you. I miss playing pictionary and monopoly. I miss seeing your face on skype and taking snapshots for memories. I miss taking pictures and voice recordings of you. I miss finding little notes from you which you always gave to me when you left me. I miss spooning and arguing who was being spooned. I miss singing with you and deciding who had the best music taste. I miss baking cakes with you. I miss dancing with you. I miss ticking your tummy. I miss hearing you say "Julieee" really loudly. I miss really small things like all of this. But most of all I miss the sound of your voice. And I miss being loved by you. Becuase with you was the happiest time of my life, and although it's been four months, I'm still completely in love with you. And I think it's safe to say that you broke my heart.

Lonely.

Sometimes I feel really sad.

I can sit here and cry for hours and hours, and in the morning no one will know. 

Sometimes it hurts so much. 

I used to listen to those songs with you. 

Songs about heartbreak, and I never ever imagined I would one day relate them to you. 

You were the best thing that ever happened to me. 

I want you back. 

I miss everything so much sometimes. 

"And all the time you were tellin' me lies
So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times we had tonight
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you 

Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?
Well, you could try sleeping in my bed "

                                                        -Alicia Keys