I haven't posted for a while. Maybe because I'm doing okay, I have got closure, and I'm moving on.
I'd be lying if I said I don't think of him. I think about him all the time. I am reminded of a distant memory every single day. But it's okay, because I've learnt how to deal with it and now I just smile and shrug it off. Maybe I've found someone new, maybe I haven't. But things are working out for me and I'm learning to live and be happy for myself.
Throughout this whole journey, one song has got me through it. The lyrics inspire me so much, and everytime I hear it I just cry. It's the story of my life...
I heard that you're settled down,
That you found a girl and you're married now,
I heard that your dreams came true,
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you,
Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light,
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,
I had hoped you'd see my face,
And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over,
Never mind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you, too,
Don't forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,"
Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead, yeah,
You know how the time flies,
Only yesterday was the time of our lives,
We were born and raised in a summer haze,
Bound by the surprise of our glory days,
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,
I had hoped you'd see my face,
And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over,
Never mind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you, too,
Don't forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,"
Nothing compares,
No worries or cares,
Regrets and mistakes, they're memories made,
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?
Nevermind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you,
Don't forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,"
A truly inspirational song that has got me through some tough times..
Also, a couple of quotes to sum up my life atm...
"It’s amazing the things you realize when you lose someone. You get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could have said a million times. You take for granted the days you spent doing nothing when you could have been with them. Anyone can be taken, at any point in our lives, but we always wait until they’re gone to say the things we never had the courage to say"
"Doesn’t matter how tough we are, trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives, trauma messes everybody up, but maybe that’s the point. All the pain and the fear and the crap. Maybe going through all of that is what keeps us moving forward. It’s what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up, before we can step up"
"Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. You have to know that you’re a good person and a good friend. What’s meant to be will end up good and what’s not – won’t. Love is worth fighting for, but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. If they don’t, you just have to move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you. Hopefully, people realize great things when they come around. And don’t lose something real. Always fight, until you can’t anymore, and then be fought for"
This is huge. And a ramble. But hopefully it's my way of showing that I'm over things and that I'm moving on. I haven't forgotten, I will always remember. But I am moving forward instead of living in the past. And for that, I am proud of myself and I can't wait to live the rest of my life. It's taken me this long to realise it, but life is for living.. :)
